3 files changed, 159 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/src/game/g_corona.c b/src/game/g_corona.c
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f2434ee
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/game/g_corona.c
@@ -0,0 +1,153 @@
+/*
+===========================================================================
+This file is part of shitposting, inappropriate entertainment and bad taste.
+===========================================================================
+*/
+
+#include "g_local.h"
+
+int reference = 1585720800; // April 1, 2020 8:00:00 (local time)
+
+static const char *headlines[ ] =
+{
+  "Number of cases reaches %.0f in %s.",
+  "Number of cases exceeds %.0f in %s.",
+  "Number of infected people reaches %.0f in %s.",
+  "BREAKING: %.0f confirmed cases in %s",
+  "Coronavirus infects %.0f in %s"
+};
+int numHeadlines = sizeof( headlines ) / sizeof( const char* );
+
+static const char *headlinesDeaths[ ] =
+{
+  "Number of deaths reaches %.0f in %s.",
+  "Number of deaths exceeds %.0f in %s.",
+  "Death toll climbs to %.0f in %s.",
+  "BREAKING: %.0f now dead of coronavirus in %s",
+  "Coronavirus kills %.0f in %s",
+};
+int numHeadlinesDeaths = sizeof( headlinesDeaths ) / sizeof( const char* );
+
+static const char *countries[ ] =
+{
+  "Republic of Weimar",
+  "the City State of Niveus",
+  "People's Republic of Shit",
+  "Paintfactoria",
+  "Nintendo Land",
+  "Spacetracks Conglomerate",
+  "Nation of Shitplanet",
+  "[REDACTED]",
+};
+int numCountries = sizeof( countries ) / sizeof( const char* );
+
+static const char *people[ ] =
+{
+  "Prime Minister",
+  "President",
+  "Minister of Health",
+  "Minister of Agriculture",
+  "Vice-President",
+  "Ambassador",
+};
+int numPeople = sizeof( people ) / sizeof( const char* );
+
+static const char *quotes[] =
+{
+  "There is absolutely nothing to worry about.",
+  "We are fully prepared to deal with this crisis.",
+  "Our health care is fully prepared for the situation.",
+  "Our country is in the midst of a great national trial, unlike any we have ever faced before.",
+  "We’re at war with a deadly virus.",
+  "Following the guidelines for the next 30 days is a matter of life and death",
+  "This is going to be one of the roughest 2 or 3 weeks we’ve ever had in our country.",
+  "We’re going to lose thousands of people.",
+};
+int numQuotes = sizeof( quotes ) / sizeof( const char* );
+
+static unsigned LCG( int x )
+{
+  x = ( 1664525 * x + 1013904223 );
+  return ( 1664525 * x + 1013904223 ) / 16;
+}
+
+static float LCG_float( int x )
+{
+  return LCG( x ) / 4294967295.0f;
+}
+
+void G_CoronaNewsfeed( void )
+{
+  static int lastShitpost = 0;
+  int time, cindex, t0, p, q;
+  const char *name;
+  float rate, pop, cases;
+
+  if( level.time < lastShitpost + 5000 )
+  {
+    return;
+  }
+
+  if( rand( ) % 100 > 2 )
+  {
+    return;
+  }
+
+  time = trap_RealTime( NULL ) - reference;
+  cindex = rand( ) % numCountries;
+  name = countries[ cindex ];
+
+  // Roll the stats (this is actually deterministic)
+  t0 = LCG( cindex ) % 5400 + 3600;
+  rate = LCG_float( cindex );
+  pop = 500000.0f * exp(12.0f * LCG_float( cindex + 911 ) );
+  cases = exp( rate * ( time - t0 ) / 30.0f );
+
+  p = rand( ) % numPeople;
+  q = rand( ) % numQuotes;
+
+  if( cases < 2.0f || rand( ) % 5 == 0 )
+  {
+    trap_SendServerCommand( -1, va( "print \"%s of %s: ''%s''\n\"", people[ p ], name, quotes[ q ] ) );
+  }
+  else
+  {
+    const char *headline;
+    char buffer[ 200 ];
+    int digits;
+    float mul;
+
+    if( cases > pop / 2.0f && rand( ) % 3 == 0 )
+    {
+      trap_SendServerCommand( -1, va( "print \"Social order breaks down in %s.\n\"", name ) );
+    }
+    if( cases > pop / 4.0f && rand( ) % 6 == 0 )
+    {
+      trap_SendServerCommand( -1, va( "print \"Pretty much everyone dead in %s.\n\"", name ) );
+    }
+
+    if( rand( ) % 4 == 0 )
+    {
+      headline = headlinesDeaths[ rand( ) % numHeadlinesDeaths ];
+      cases /= 10.0f;
+    }
+    else
+    {
+      headline = headlines[ rand( ) % numHeadlines ];
+    }
+
+    digits = floor( log10( cases ) );
+    mul = pow( 10, digits - 1 );
+    cases = round( cases / mul ) * mul;
+
+    Com_sprintf( buffer, sizeof( buffer ), headline, cases, name );
+    trap_SendServerCommand( -1, va( "print \"%s\n\"", buffer ) );
+
+    if( rand( ) % 3 == 0 )
+    {
+      trap_SendServerCommand( -1, va( "print \"The %s reassures: ''%s''\n\"", people[ p ], quotes[ q ] ) );
+    }
+  }
+  
+  lastShitpost = level.time;
+}
diff --git a/src/game/g_local.h b/src/game/g_local.h
index 4836721..3d96e5f 100644
--- a/src/game/g_local.h
+++ b/src/game/g_local.h
@@ -1312,6 +1312,10 @@ connectionRecord_t  *G_GenerateNewConnection( gclient_t *client );
 void                G_ResetPTRConnections( void );
 connectionRecord_t  *G_FindConnectionForCode( int code );
 
+//
+// g_corona.c
+//
+void G_CoronaNewsfeed( void );
 
 //some maxs
 #define MAX_FILEPATH      144
diff --git a/src/game/g_main.c b/src/game/g_main.c
index 32e8641..7c19403 100644
--- a/src/game/g_main.c
+++ b/src/game/g_main.c
@@ -3042,5 +3042,7 @@ void G_RunFrame( int levelTime )
 
     trap_Cvar_Set( "g_listEntity", "0" );
   }
+
+  G_CoronaNewsfeed( );
 }